I’m a work from home mum, there are no two ways about it. I work from home and I’m a mum. I work around 20 hours a week, give or take but why do I feel judged for doing it?
I just need to get a few things of my chest and I mean no harm but seriously?! I’m a bit annoyed and feel like I need to explain myself, so here goes;
Why Did I Start Working From Home?
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I’ve always worked and found it extremely difficult not being able to contribute financially when we decided I would be a stay at home mum. We decided this because child care fees were too expensive and we didn’t see the point both working just to afford to send Little D to Nursery. Then I started this blog and it was a great outlet for me to do something other than parenting, even if it was writing about parenting. It was something a bit different. It helped me discover this whole online world that I didn’t know was out there and it helped me feel a bit like me again.
You see, I felt like I lost myself when I became a mother. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mum, I would do anything for the little man, but I felt like I was JUST a mum. I’ve never been good at anything but I thought I was pretty good at being a parent, I just wished I could do more for us to have a better life.
We’ve always talked about eventually being able to afford to buy our own house, buy a car and go on holiday but you can’t do any of those things without money. With my OH paying all the bills, there wasn’t anything left at the end of the month to save. So, instead of moping about and moaning about not having any money and not being able to get a job, I did some research and found the perfect opportunity. I found that I could become a Virtual Assistant and I could do it from my front room!
My wonderful OH works full-time and pays all the bills. I contribute nothing which I’ve found hard since becoming a stay at home mum. However, now I’ve the opportunity to help financially by working from home whilst looking after Little D, why would I not got for it?!
You don’t get anything for nothing and I hate to say it, but money does make the world go round or at least it helps. We wouldn’t be able to dream of buying a car, owning a house or going on holiday if I wasn’t working. Okay, so we are only doing one of those things but that is one step closer – we’ve just booked our first family holiday 🙂
How Do I Make It Work?
Well, it’s quite simple actually. Now I’m earning more money and working about 20 hours a week, we can afford for Little D to go to Nursery 3 times a week. This is great for him, he is interacting and playing with children his own age and learning some fantastic skills which I don’t think he would have learnt just by interacting with me. We don’t know anyone that lives up here and whenever we went to playgroups or soft play areas, he was too nervous to try and interact with other children and to be fair, he is only 2. The difference I’ve seen in him since he’s been going to Nursery is amazing.
So, I work for 4 hours Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings plus every afternoon he naps for about 2-3 hours, which gives me plenty of time to work and unfortunately, sometimes, yes I do have to work when he is around but I’m not constantly sat at my desk ignoring him, contrary to popular belief.
Why Do I Feel Like I Need To Explain Myself?
1. I feel like I’m being judged and labelled as a bad mother for sending my son to Nursery: Someone actually said to me that I’m turning into an aunt rather than a mum because he goes to Nursery 3 times a week – Come on, SERIOUSLY?! I’m being judged because I send my child to Nursery, for his benefit, not mine.
2. I feel like I’m being accused of neglecting my son: For the reason above and the fact that some people assume that when he’s about, I’m just sat I my desk ignoring him. So. Not. True. Okay, sometimes, if something important comes up, I might have to jump on here to sort it out but I am not saying in any way, shape or form that my work is more important than my son.
3. The two reasons above make me question myself: I know I’m not neglecting my son but when people put that to you, it makes you question yourself. Would my son’s life be better off if I wasn’t working, maybe their right – maybe I am turning into more of an aunt than a mother. I’m bloody not! It really upsets me that I’m being judged for a choice which will benefit my family and that I’m being made to doubt myself.
4. Because I’m fed up of all the little digs and need to get this off my chest: You might think the house I live in is shit – It’s not it’s fine but obviously not to your standards. You might think we need to move – but we can’t afford to move if we don’t have any money. You might not agree with my parenting choices but do you know what, they are my choices and not yours to make. So instead of making me feel pretty shitty about myself, why not actually be a bit more positive and grateful that I’m doing what I can to give my son a better life?!